I do a lot of chatting and conversing with both men and women who are trying to navigate the first steps of the Hotwife Lifestyle. Over the passed two years, I’ve noticed a larger jump in the number of women who are contacting us asking for advice. They are willing to “try” their man’s fantasy, but the way that “he” wants it to play out isn’t something they’re comfortable with, and yet they are afraid to voice their concerns or simply don’t know how. I received this message from a lovely lady who prefers to remain anonymous:
“My husband has been talking about the Hotwife Lifestyle for the last few years. He did all of the initial research, it totally turns him on and when he came to me with the idea I was shocked, but willing to listen to him. I decided that if it would make him happy, I would give it a try and I agreed. He almost jumped out of his seat he was so excited. Then he started to take over all the planning and telling me how it was going to happen, what was going to happen, etc. Basically, he says he’s going to meet the guy with me, he’s going to be in the room when it starts, and he’s going to get video and pictures. This doesn’t sound at all enjoyable to me and is actually scaring me shitless because I’m someone who needs some intimacy to get anything out of sex and this just sounds like he wants to make porn with me being the star in it. I don’t get to choose the guy, I have to be directed and taped, is this normal? Is this how being a Hotwife works? I know it seems to be how it works in a lot of the videos and stuff on Tumblr, but I hoped that it wasn’t this way for real. I tried to talk to him about maybe letting me do it on my own to get comfortable with things first and he said he’d consider it but that I HAD to get video and pictures during for him and he’d tell me the type of video and pictures I have to get. How do you even ask for that stuff, especially the first time you meet someone for sex? If you don’t mind, can you leave my name out of your post because I’m super embarrassed about this and I know he follows a lot of Hotwife Tumblrs.”
My first reaction…this poor woman. I can completely understand where she is coming from and I think there’s often a big disconnect between what this lifestyle means to men and women and how each derives pleasure from it. The above question isn’t always how these things work, but it happens often enough to cause problems and confusion, and to turn what could be an exhilarating sexual addition to a relationship into something ugly and scary. It usually goes something like this… Man has a fantasy and shares it with his wife. She’s shocked, but curious and decides that she wants to make him happy and will give it a try. Man gets SUPER excited and sets out to start “directing” his own version of the fantasy with her as the “leading lady”. This works beautifully in the porn industry, but the only problem is that she’s not an “actress”, she’s his wife or partner.
How do we as women, or would-be Hotwives, actually get our husbands or partners on board with the way that WE see things playing out? I’m going to give some advice here, but I’m going to start with a disclaimer: I understand these things aren’t always easy to do/say. I understand that sometimes husbands or male partners can be a bit more dominant when it comes to sexual fantasies and when they get something in their heads they want it to play out in a certain way. I understand it can be scary to speak up, but it’s something we as women HAVE to do if this lifestyle is going to work.
First, whether the Hotwife Lifestyle was your partner’s idea or not, the acting out of the lifestyle MUST be a joint effort. You and your partner are a team, and a team listens to each other and adjusts thoughts, feelings, and actions to make sure that in the end everything works. Imagine being tied together in a three-legged race. Each person knows they want to get to the finish line and that they are tied together, but they have different ideas on how to get there successfully, so when the buzzer goes off, they just start running…what’s going to happen? They’re either going to fall down, or someone is going to end up being dragged along, scraped up and if they make it to the finish line, one person (or both) are going to be hurt. Now imagine if those people had talked strategy and actually listened to each other’s perspectives on how best to run the race. Imagine that person A had an idea and person B had an idea and they somehow put together the best parts of both of those ideas and then when the buzzer went off they shot off the mark as a team that worked together? No one is being dragged, no one is falling down, and in the end, they cross the finish line smiling. This is how the Hotwife Lifestyle SHOULD be.
Ladies, remember that when our men have fantasies and look at things like porn or Tumblr to facilitate their desires before telling us about them, they aren’t seeing reality. This reminds me of a little video documentary I saw where high school aged boys who hadn’t had sex before were being asked about how they learned about sex and what they thought it was like to have sex. First, all but two of the boys interviewed said they learned about sex from internet porn. These boys, when asked, said that women’s orgasms where better than men’s because they did a lot more screaming and moaning and the harder that they had sex the more orgasms the women had. When asked, they all said that women had at least 2 or 3 orgasms every time they had sex. This is what boys are learning from porn…can you imagine when they start having sex what a shock it’s going to be, or how many girls/young ladies are going to end up having to “fake it” because their partners weren’t taught what it really takes to get a woman off? We can take a lesson from this when it comes to the Hotwife Lifestyle and realize that many of our husbands or partners have “learned” about the lifestyle through unrealistic means. We have to help bring them back to reality a little bit.
If you’re a woman who is into crazy, hot sex with strangers and your husband there directing and filming you, then more power to you! That’s probably a MUCH easier road to travel than if you are a woman who requires a little more intimacy and romance to “get there”. There’s nothing wrong with either type of woman, but I’m speaking to the more “romantic Hotwife” here, and how she can rein in her husband’s fantasy to a point that it can actually be comfortable or even enjoyable for her.
So, it’s time to have a talk with hubby… Before doing so, I would suggest you consider very seriously the things that you think would make you most comfortable and happy as a Hotwife and write them down. If hubby has it in his head that he’s going to be sitting in the corner watching you your first time out and that’s just not something you think is going to work for you, then write it down. If you want to choose your own partners, with hubby’s input of course, then write that down. If you think you need a little romance or intimacy, you envision a “date” rather than a “sex meet up”, then write that down. When you’re ready, come to hubby with your list and tell him that you’ve carefully considered his fantasy and read him the list of how you envision it playing out, then ask him to tell you how he envisions it playing out.
Now it’s time for compromise. There will be some things that you can compromise on and some things you simply can’t. Personally, a “no compromise” thing for me would be D choosing a guy and then directing the encounter while videoing it…that just wouldn’t work for me. So, I would prefer not to do it at all if that’s the only way that he wants it done. Some things I can compromise on…getting him video and pictures – it’s NOT as easy for women to do as guys think it is, because it will likely turn a possible “intimate” encounter into something more like porn or acting. With that said, there are ways to get video and still maintain some intimacy, like just setting up a static camera in the corner of the room, hitting play and forgetting about it. Negotiate with your date ahead of time on this aspect of things and that way you can go in and start the camera before you head to the bedroom. Once you get to the bedroom, the camera will be running, but you can mostly ignore it. I’ve done this for D as a compromise to the video and pictures aspect of things. It might not be the “in your face, first person perspective” video that men see on Tumblr, but it’s still better than nothing, right? And D has loved every video that I’ve gotten for him.
So, now you each have your lists of what you envision, you’ve discussed them with each other and listened to each other’s perspective on things, and if you can come to some good compromises, then the lifestyle is a “go”. If you can’t compromise, then it’s back to the drawing board until you can. Don’t be afraid to draw lines in the sand when you feel you have to…if there is something you just are NOT comfortable doing, then don’t compromise on that. Make sure your husband or partner knows you’re willing to work with him on his fantasy, but that it has to be right for YOU if you’re going to do it. This is your body and your brain and your heart we’re talking about here, and as much as you want to focus on your husband, there are times when you have to listen to your own feelings.
Here’s the kicker…there is always the possibility that after you’ve gotten a little more comfortable with being a Hotwife, certain lines in the sand that you’ve drawn may be able to be moved or erased completely. Maybe at some point you WILL be comfortable with him watching you. Maybe at some point you WILL be comfortable with him joining in. Maybe at some point you WILL be comfortable with letting him pick a man for you and have a crazy night complete with video, but that time isn’t now. Your husband needs to know this, and it will likely make him more agreeable to certain choices you feel are right for you if you say that there a possibility down the road that you may be willing to do more.
In the end, remember that, as I said before, this has to be a team effort if it’s going to work out, especially long term. It can’t be one person dragging the other across a line and feeling like they’ve won while the person being dragged is scraped up and hurt. If there is EVER a time to find your voice, this is it! If you do, the Hotwife Lifestyle can be an amazing addition to your lives. Good luck ladies! – S
I have a feeling a lot of you are going to want to share this one. If someone shares this with you, that’s because it means something to them, so please do the courtesy of reading the whole thing!
First off, I want to acknowledge that wives often have various and complex reasons for reacting negatively to husbands who bring up hotwifing. That’s a valid topic for another time. This also isn’t for households with an abusive spouse who wants to force his perversions or sick desires in whatever way they enter his mind–those men are the scum of the earth. No, this is for you loving couples, where you try your best to do things right, and keep trying even when you don’t succeed the first time.
Today, I want to talk to the wife who hears her husband share his kink with her, and doesn’t stop to dig further. She doesn’t ask, “How difficult was it for you to tell me this? How much have you thought about this? How much does this mean to you?” I’m talking to the wife who jumps to conclusions and insecurities, or shuts him down without validating his opinion. Can I talk to you for a minute?
Dear wife, I imagine you love your husband a lot, and he probably loves you a lot too. In fact, he’s opening up to you because he loves you. He wants you to be a part of his life in every way, no matter how unusual society may say it is. And society may be the reason you shut him down. Have you been told all your life that it’s wrong to have sex with another man after you get married, and that it’s cheating on your husband if you do? Have you been told that this will kill your loving relationship? Chances are, this is where you’re coming from. These feelings make it seem impossible to imagine what your husband is really thinking.
In fact, I bet these values are more deeply ingrained in you than you imagine, especially if you haven’t sat and done introspection on why you think the way you think. So when your husband comes around and tells you he’s interested in this, it breaks all kinds of norms. You think, “Cheating!” And you think, “Wrong!” And you get disturbed, because he’s asking you to do that one thing you’ve always been told a wife should never do. This is where your imagination and insecurity gets fired up–if he wants you to do the worst thing of all, then, “My God, what else is he going to suggest?” You might not think it so much as just feel it deeply within. It feels wrong–so wrong.
On behalf of your husband, let me ask you to just stop for a moment and hear his side of the equation so you can communicate on equal ground. First, he probably has some idea of how weird this is to you, and it was even hard for him to admit it to himself at first. He’s battling with his own inherited values, which in this case run counter to his sexual desires and needs; he also fears your reaction. He doesn’t want to hurt you or scare you.
Second, his definition of cheating isn’t what you think it is. You both agree that cheating is a betrayal, a theft of love and intimacy from the one who rightfully owns it. Where he’s different from you is that–for whatever reason–he feels connected to you sexually when he imagines you being promiscuous, full of desire, and feeling flirtatious lust. Your promiscuity isn’t cheating, since he connects to you in that fantasy or act. It doesn’t mean he wants to be promiscuous himself, because if it would be a betrayal of you and your desires, then he sees it as betrayal too; he isn’t interested in betraying you. He isn’t interested in you betraying him either–he is interested in connecting with you by means of observation, fantasy, and wanton lust unchained.
I hope that’s clear in your mind, because it’s crucial to understanding him. He’s not asking you to cheat when he talks to you about sexual engagement (or fantasy) with other guys.
This brings us to the provocative title of this post. “Cheating,” sexually speaking, is betraying your spouse for others. It’s disregarding their needs and desires, and giving that part of yourself to others. Here’s the point: if social pressure or fear of others (parents, priests, friends) are the reasons you’re not willing to hear your husband out when he tells the thing that is most intimate to his sexual nature, he’s not the main person in your sex life.
You’ve invited a whole society into bed with you, and you’re neglecting him for everyone else that’s intruding into your sex life. He feels cheated, because you won’t even talk, read, or think about what’s on his mind.
Is that cheating? I’ll leave it to you and him be the judge of that.
However, I hope you’ll take the time to see how you might actually have things backwards when it comes to the idea of being faithful to the one you married. Not the idea of a husband you got from society and invented over time in your mind–the actual flesh-and-blood man you pledged to be with.
I’ll be saying more along these lines in the future, but I wanted to get this out TODAY so you could start thinking about it (and wives, please don’t be offended if your husband forwarded this to you–remember, more than anything sexual, he longs to be loved, trusted, and understood; please give him that at the very least).
Everyone already knows what jealousy is, some of us more intimately than others, but compersion is “a state of empathetic happiness and joy experienced when an individual’s current or former romantic partner experiences happiness and joy through an outside source, including, but not limited to, another romantic interest.” (taken from Wikipedia)
Other than the “that doesn’t work” knee-jerk reaction to polyamory or open relationships, the other excuse that gets automatically thrown out is “I could never do that. I’m far too jealous.”
Discussion over.
Jealousy is most definitely a strong deterrent to even entertaining thoughts of an open relationship. Believe me, if you had told me 10 years ago that I would be in a polyamorous marriage with my husband, I would’ve told you that you were certifiably insane. After all, I’m a triple Scorpio: highly possessive and intensely jealous by nature. Throw in some serious self-esteem issues and an crippling fear of abandonment and I was the last person anyone (including me) thought would end up in an open relationship. But here I am! Happily polyamorous and talking about it publicly, no less.
Do I still get jealous? You better fucking believe it.
Is it as crippling as it used to be? Not usually.
The root of jealousy is fear. Fear of abandonment. Fear that your loved one will find someone better, smarter, sexier, more awesome, more whatever. The problem with those fears is that they are all inside the jealous person. No amount of reassurance from your beloved on its own will quell those fears. You must take responsibility for your own fears and express them to your SO without making them solely responsible for those fears. Your partner in life, spouse or otherwise significant other, does have a responsibility for your heart as you do theirs, but ultimately that responsibility lies within yourself. They can support and reassure and earn your trust, but they can’t quell those fears on their own. It’s a team effort.
The death of jealousy begins in honesty and trust.
Once that trust is in place. Once you are able to say anything to your partner and they to you. Once you talk openly, honestly, and frequently, that jealousy begins to die. The love deepens past that you could’ve ever imagined, loving your partner so completely if for no other reason that they love you so completely for who you are.
It’s not an easy place to get to. It’s not luck. It’s not luxury. It’s months and years of work, sometimes tears, and intense vulnerability. It’s believing in yourself and in your partner. It’s believing in you as a couple. It’s knowing without a shadow of a doubt that the two of you will get through anything because you are a team. You’ve done the work. You’ve established a firm foundation of trust and honesty, and nothing will break that apart, certainly not sex with someone new. Sex is wonderful, but sex is sometimes just sex. Although sometimes it is sex and love, which can feel a bit more threatening, but it’s really not because once you get to that point with your primary partner, you also deeply realize that love is not finite.
Love breeds love.
Desire breeds desire.
And you will find yourself loving your partner even more, even when you thought that wouldn’t be possible, because they love you for who you really are, not who they think you are…not who they want you to be, but for YOU. And you love them the exact same way. From this place of deep love and trust, a sexual encounter or even a satellite relationship takes on a whole new meaning. It is more love for your beloved! It is allowing them to feel desired and be pleased by another person…because they deserve as much love and desire and fulfillment that they can handle.
Because you love them that deeply.
And that’s compersion.
You are happy that they are happy. You are thrilled that they had a new experience, felt the rush of desire in a first kiss all over again, enjoyed being touched only the way a new lover can touch…etc. Then they can come home and tell you about it, or not, and love you even more for allowing them both freedom and security. And you get the same from them. It’s really rather beautiful.
Compersion trumps jealousy every time because love always trumps fear, if you can find the courage to let it.
This is a great question, and I’m sure one that a lot of Hotwives can relate to (whether they want to admit it or not). I see this question as a good example of how the “fantasy” is sometimes greater than the “reality” when it comes to certain things. In “fantasy land”, what woman wouldn’t want to be seduced and have sex with an attractive man who has a killer body and is good in bed with zero guilt? It seems simple, right? Unfortunately, it’s not always that simple, because there is this little thing called “the brain” that gets in the way, especially for women.
Women have sexual fantasies…of course we do! We fantasize about sexy men with cut bodies and a penchant for romantic conversation. We fantasize about those “bad boy” rocker types who we imagine would just take us “backstage” and give us the sexual time of our lives. We fantasize about things we’ve seen, sexy situations, and even passed lovers. The thing about “fantasies” is that our brains choose only the good parts of things and leave out all of the niggling little realities, like anxiety, worry, fear, being uncomfortable, etc.
In our fantasies we aren’t thinking about things like “geez, this guy kisses weird”, “why does he make those noises”, “the sound of his voice when he says my name makes me feel weird”. What’s more, for many of us who are so completely into our husbands or partners, we tend to be unable to stop drawing comparisons throughout an encounter – both comparisons that favor our partners and ones that might not favor them (and then we feel guilty for it later).
All of this “thinking” that we do while we’re on a date is what I like to call an “orgasm killer”. If my brain is working too much and I’m not focused on the pleasure or the person that I’m with, it’s just not going to happen, no matter how sexy he is, how good that he is in bed, how well he uses his tongue or how nice his cock is. If a thought comes through my head like “wow, John knows just the right way to touch me, I wish D touched me that way”…instant guilt and the orgasm meter goes from moderate to zero. Conversely, if a thought comes through my head like “I miss the way that D smells, John doesn’t smell like D”…instant longing for “my man” and the orgasm meter goes to zero again.
Half the time these “thoughts” are so fast and powerful that we don’t even realize they’re coming until we’re buried, sort of like an avalanche. If there was a way to hit “pause” on the brain and just focus on the body, I’m sure things would work a whole lot better. Some women have found this pause button, and bless them for it! I…have not. Men, it seems, are much better able to do this than women, as well. D likes to say that he’s just able to separate “sex and emotion” and I’m not. One of the reasons why if I’m going to get any pleasure at all from an encounter, it has to be with a guy who I have some romantic chemistry with – someone who can override those thoughts in my head a little bit.
I’m going to be candid here… No, I don’t always have orgasms on dates. Sometimes I’m so far for having an orgasm it’s like the orgasm is in London and I’m standing on the beach in San Diego. I know it’s not going to happen…usually, I fake it in those situations, because who wants to make a guy who’s trying hard to please you feel bad? I guess I’m just a pleaser at heart. I have had orgasms before, and that’s been with the guys who take their time and really romance/seduce me before hand.
I can absolutely related to you feeling like you need to lie to your husband about having orgasms on your dates. D tells me he doesn’t want me to lie, but I know damn well that he gets a hell of a lot more out of things and is WAY more turned on if I DO have an orgasm on a date, so, what’s a girl to do? Have I lied to D about having orgasms with my dates? Yes (sorry, baby, but it’s true). It takes so much for me to get myself out, prepared and follow through with a date, and I’m doing it to turn D on and get him to that place where he gives me all the things that a partner who is absolutely ready to chew his leg off to be with you gives you that it’s a major let down for both of us if I’m just not able to get there. Not to mention the feeling that I’m somehow “broken”, because it seems like all these other Hotwives are able to have ten orgasms per date and I’m sometimes not able to have one. So, yeah…you’re not alone in feeling the need to bend the truth a little bit in this area.
Do I like the sex or wish I was with D? Well, honestly, every time I go out I would rather be with D, that’s just the truth. He’s the man I chose, the one I love, the one who I feel the best and most confident with, etc. I would choose having sex with him ten times over having sex with someone else. This is also where men and women are different – you may have noticed one of my earlier articles where most men admit that at some point if given the opportunity and consent they would like to have sex with someone else. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t feel this way. If I got to a point that I would rather have sex with someone else rather than D, I would probably think that was a sign to myself that maybe the relationship was in trouble.
Do I enjoy the sex on my dates? Sure. I enjoy the entire experience on some levels. Unless the guy is a total jerk it’s nice to get that extra attention and be with someone who is really turned on by you, trying to please you, barely lets you close the door before he has his arms around you and is kissing you, going above and beyond, etc. This is something that tends to get lost a little bit in a long term relationship and it’s there in something new and fresh, so that’s definitely enticing.
My advice is this: You have to try as best you can to quiet your brain (alcohol helps a little bit) and just be in the moment on a date. You have to kind of “put away” your husband and your relationship and just pretend that you’re a girl standing in front of a boy who is really hot and really wants to be with you. Forget about all the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” and just focus on what you’re doing. It’s easier said than done, but it can happen given the right preparation and mental control. Also, don’t feel bad about lying to your husband about your orgasms, but remember, if you come home from every date and tell him “Baby, I came SO HARD” he’s probably going to want you to have more and more dates…if you’re good with that, then by all means do it, but otherwise, use a mid-level approach. Tell him about the good parts of the date, the things that did turn you on, how sexy the guy was, how nice it was when he touched you, and then when it comes to the orgasm topic, just sort of gloss over it as best you can. 🙂 I don’t advocate lying, but in this circumstance, it’s sometimes hard not to.
– S
Baby Steps
The things she writes about are great, but two little things that you can keep in mind:
Some of these steps might be out of your comfort zone. If so, you can just think about what you could be okay with and do that instead.
You might not want to “go” anywhere with it. Maybe you’re going to keep it in the fantasy world. Join the club! There are myriads of couples just messing around with this stuff, with no serious plans to move beyond fantasy.
Enjoy what you enjoy, and use articles like this just to get your brain going!
ARE BULLS OR BOYFRIENDS BEING TRAUMATIZED BY HOTWIVES?
An interesting question and one I will do my best to answer thoughtfully…
When you enter into any situation, lifestyle or otherwise, there is the possibility for someone to get hurt. Take dating, for example. You meet a nice guy, go out on a few dates, sleep together, one person becomes attached while the other person doesn’t – is dating causing trauma? No, because there were no promises made in the dating situation, only a “lets hang out, get to know each other and see if this works”…if it doesn’t then we part ways.
This is the same in a Bull situation for a Hotwife, and actually much more up front in terms of expectations being laid out. In my situation, and most that I know of with other Hotwife relationships, the “third”, “Bull”, “lover, etc, knows from the very beginning what they are getting into. In fact, most people meet online, and most online profiles that are looking for a “Bull” clearly state exactly what is desired or expected – as do any of the profiles that I have had past or present. In fact, every profile I have ever had on any site clearly states I am part of a “couple” and D has full access to the profile (as he has full access to this Tumblr account) so he can read messages, respond to messages, etc. I never “go out looking”, I have plenty of people who respond to my profiles and I simply choose from there the ones I have chemistry with and D is comfortable with. D is fully able and welcome (and often does) speak with men prior to me meeting them and sometimes if he gets a bad vibe then we decide against that person. It’s a team effort. In a lot of Hotwife situations, the husband actually meets the Bull or Boyfriend either prior to the wife meeting him or with the wife for the first time.
All “Bulls” know the game. Most “Boyfriends” know the game. Contrary to what many people believe, there are a lot of men out there who either have lives too busy to have a relationship, who enjoy their single life, etc., who enjoy having sex occasionally (or more than occasionally), and these are typically the men who respond to profiles for “couples” or “Hotwives”. Experienced Bulls get their sexual pleasure from playing that “role”…this entices them and they enjoy it. In many situations, the “Bulls” are actually married as well and are in open relationships or swinger type relationships. It’s all out in the open from the beginning. I, personally, have a NO CHEATERS rule, and I am very good at sniffing out the men who are attempting to cheat on their wives by being a “Bull”. In one situation, I actually corresponded with the wife of a man I saw for a month or two so that I could be sure that she was okay with the situation – she was and she was also engaging in sex outside the marriage.
Is it traumatic to sleep with someone who knows from the get go that they are with a woman who is attached, NOT cheating behind her husband’s back, and is looking for a “no strings attached” arrangement and has actually spoken at length to both the woman and her partner about the situation, the lifestyle, the expectations, etc.? I don’t necessarily think that it is…and if any trauma occurs, I don’t feel that there is blame to be put on the couple. In my situation, and most that I have spoken to who engage in the lifestyle, there are weeks if not a month or more of negotiation, explaining of expectations, getting to know someone – both Hotwife and her husband, before any dates are made. These men know exactly what they are stepping into when they get into this situation.
Of course people can develop feelings, although it is a lot less common than you might think, this is one of the dangers of the Hotwife Lifestyle (both for the Hotwife, the Husband and the Bull), and something I have written at length about in many articles – ways to make this less likely, ways to keep this from happening, etc. There are safeguards in place to make sure that every step of the way the Bull or Boyfriend knows exactly what type of situation they are entering into and continuing with. Everyone is just there to “have fun”, these “thirds” are not looking for long term relationships or else they would not have responded to an ad for a “couple”.
I have known swingers (a lifestyle you seem to be much more okay with) who where one person has fallen for another part of a couple. I know monogamous people who have fallen for people outside of their marriage. These things happen, sadly, and while it’s sad it’s not a reason to suggest that a lifestyle is abusive or bad.
It seems as though we simply have different views on this subject matter and that there is no remedy for that. I answered this question because I felt that it was helpful for readers who are getting into the lifestyle or who are in the lifestyle and looking for the right “third”.
The Hotwife / Cuckold fantasy is one of the fastest growing
fantasies out there.
More and more men are finding the thought of their wives and
girlfriends sleeping with another man arousing for a large variety of reasons.
This post is not about why men want this or why women should
do this. This post is about the respect your wife or girlfriend deserves,
whether she decides to go along with your fantasy or not.
I see post after post from men asking how they can convince
their significant other to have sex with other men, but you also need to know
how to handle it if she doesn’t want to have sex with other men.
My wife knows about my fantasies and agrees that the idea is
hot, but she has not agreed to act on the fantasy in real life. I love my wife
and would never force her to do anything she is not comfortable with. So far my
wife teases me about having a boyfriend and lovers, as well as some light MFM role
play in the bedroom. While I hope that it goes father one day, I am okay if she
stops here.
You can’t let this consume you or get in the way of your relationship.
If you love and respect each other, then you have to also respect each other’s boundaries.
Don’t get mad or upset id she says she only wants to be with you! What a great
honor to have a woman who loves you so much that she is willing to forsake all
others.
The bottom line is she is your wife or girlfriend, not a
piece of meat for you to whore out.
Please love each other and share your journey together. No
one should ever be forced to do something they might come to regret. They will
resent you for it in the long run. That resentment will be a cancer in your
relationship.
Hotwife Facts and Fantasies 